Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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