I am in a vortex of obligation.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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