I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
