there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
