am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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