yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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