hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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