oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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