Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
