so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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