This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
