I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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