no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
