and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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