i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
