Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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