I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
