I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize
