im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
