Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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