Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
