did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
