dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
