***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
