U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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