I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
