Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
