Can Purell be used as lube?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
