I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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