forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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