So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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