I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she smelled like a LAN party
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
