i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i will never coherently bang her
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
