it's too hot outside to masturbate.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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