I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
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I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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