So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
