508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
this beer tastes like vomit already
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
