the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
