Sponge bath it is.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
