she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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