I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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