Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
