We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
