Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
