The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
