are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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