There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
