I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
