I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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