yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
