Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Help me help you realize you are a moron
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
