i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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