my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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