you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
