"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
