Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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