Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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