The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
