Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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