While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize