When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
