god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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