Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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