16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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