meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
