So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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